Berkshire


<p>Ahhh, the comfort zone. A place so cosy and safe, we never want to leave. So many of us find our kids clinging to the things they do best like a lifeboat. But stepping outside of their comfort zone is holding them back. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to bask in the glow of success. Research suggests that expanding our horizons, having new experiences, learning new skills and making new friends help to develop the personal skills needed to overcome adversity in life.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-50520" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-14-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>So how do you get your stuck-in-a-rut sporty child, mini Picasso or coding genius to try something they&#8217;ve never done before and may not be that good at it? *Gulp*. We spoke to the team at <a href="https://www.crosfields.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Crosfields School in Reading</a> – a school with a have-a-go ethos and endless opportunities – on why it&#8217;s so important that out kids need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable…</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-natural-selection">Natural selection</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11.jpg" alt="OUTDOOR KIDS CAMPFIRE" class="wp-image-48557" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-11-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Break out the Persil, it&#8217;s about to get dirty. One of the best places to start is outdoors. Crosfields Forest School Leader Melanie Hill explains that outdoor learning is a great leveller as there are no age or ability barriers. &#8220;The outdoors is brilliant for growth mindset. Everyone’s equal out there, which means that children are more like to take risks,&#8221; she says. &#8220;They encourage one another, problem solve together and learn that failure is part of the process. It&#8217;s incredible.&#8221; Wild adventures can be as simple as a walk through woods or park chatting about what we can smell, see, hear and touch to den building, using knives and learning to light fires. </p>



<p>Spending meaningful time outside, surrounded by nature super charges those softer skills: confidence, communication, perseverance and resilience. In a post Lockdown world Melanie has also noticed it has helped the children fine tune their social skills and improve anxiety, too. The outdoors give the children the space to take a leap of faith when trying new things – plus the hot chocolate and toasted marshmallows go down pretty well whether you&#8217;re four or 14.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Have-a-go heroes</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-48558" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/2-8-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>You may think that you are nurturing the next Euro winning Lioness or Olympic gold medallist, but Gareth Edwards Director of Sport at Crosfields believes that to get children to try something new, we need to set expectations that are not aligned with ability. It’s not to say competition is the enemy, but if a child considers themselves bad at something, they’re less likely to try. “At Crosfields, we field lots of teams to games and fixtures, to ensure all children play at a level they enjoy – from the super competitive to those who play for fun, but we also offer choice. Team sport&nbsp; are not for all, but there are kids who might enjoy climbing, gymnastics, ultimate frisbee, running, swimming, golf and rowing”. Engage your kids in alternative physical fun, because there’s always something to try. Be creative, think about unusual alternatives and get them to have-a-go.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Just for fun fun</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16.jpg" alt="Crosfields School pupils surfing" class="wp-image-50521" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/1-16-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>With so much pressure on kids to do well academically, having fun can get lost. It’s fundamental to their development and ability to deal with life’s ups and downs that they experience time away from the textbooks to just be, have a laugh and hang out with their friends. Justin Clark, Head of Enrichment, is a huge advocate of this. He read that GPs were prescribing surfing lessons to help people suffering from depression. So he arranged for his Y9s to go on a residential, wellbeing surfing trip. Anxiety is a growing problem for children right now and this opportunity to bond, take a break from the classroom and get to know each other was incredible. It’s also a great opportunity for kids who are naturally introverted, providing them with the opportunity to come out of their shell – it could be origami and rounders to unleashing their inner entrepreneur in a £10 challenge. Step out of their comfort zone, they learn more about themselves and discover a passion for the unexpected. Engagement is the only measure.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Be patient</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-50519" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/3-10-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Take your foot off the accelerator and slow things down. Children need time to build confidence and newness can feel scary and overwhelming. So, be encouraging but give them time. Yes, we want to open up new worlds, but involve them in the decision making, support them and let them see the consequences of their actions and feel invested.&nbsp;We learn more from our failures and mistakes than when we are shielded from consequences. It’s at this point that kids grow in confidence, boost their growth mindset and become more resilient.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Digital nanny </h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9.jpg" alt="Crosfields School girl on laptop" class="wp-image-50518" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/4-9-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Parents are frazzled – juggling a life of work, home, social and kids is hard. With so many demands on our time in a 24/7 connected world, something has to give, sometimes this may involve some screen time. Kerry Stone, Head of Early Years, explains that, as tech has advanced with toys, reading bedtime stories and singing nursery rhymes is becoming less common. The time spent having discussions with our children has been reduced, impacting on language development. Covid has also had a huge impact on socialising across all age groups with them having less face-to-face fun and attending events. It’s not that deep, set time aside to read, take a bus or train into town, go to the shops, family events or a walk. The more life experience they get, the more confidence they have in their locker to try new things.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Fail to succeed</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-50517" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/berkshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/11/5-7-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Helicopter parenting is doing more harm than good by taking away our kids’ decision-making powers. Of course we want our offspring to shine, but that pressure leaves little room for children to make mistakes and learn from them. By&nbsp;<em>not</em>&nbsp;allowing children to experience disappointment, you rendered them helpless. Teacher and author Jessica Lahey’s book&nbsp;<em>The Gift of Failure</em>&nbsp;explains that today’s overprotective, failure avoidant parenting style has undermined the competence, independence, and academic potential of an entire generation”. Brutal. But the key takeaway is that if we want children to be resilient, motivated, and to make good decisions they have to make some bad ones.</p>



<p>They insert themselves into activities best left for children to figure out for themselves: Too many parents yell instructions from the sidelines at sporting events (Crosfields have a sports QR code of conduct to ensure parents know how to behave, setting good examples for their pupils); they help too much with homework; they question teachers about grades; they interfere in children’s&nbsp;<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/friends">friendship</a>&nbsp;problems… In&nbsp;<em>The Gift of Failure</em>, Lahey addresses these problematic areas and advises parents on ways to help their children learn to be resilient, motivated, and to make good decisions for themselves after making a few bad ones. Success comes as a result of making errors, bouncing back and pushing outside of their comfort zone. So if you want your kids to be the best versions of themselves, loosen the apron string and you’ll soon see your kids soar.</p>



<p><strong><em><a href="https://berkshire.muddystilettos.co.uk/kids/crosfields-school-reading-berkshire/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Read out review of Crosfields School in Reading, here.</a></em></strong></p>


Why kids need to step out of out their comfort zone

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