Fromage free Valentine’s
Avoid the annual cheese fest of hearts and flowers, Muddy to the rescue with 7 naff-free Valentine's ideas that say L-O-V-E.
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching (eek) and it conjures up a certain dread. Part of me doesn’t want to be told that Mr Muddy and I should be gazing into each others eyes on demand, the other part longs for him to want to lavish me with gifts and whisk me off my feet in a rom-com stylee. It’s a fine line between fabulous and forced. Add into the mix the need to drink too much too quickly in celebration of being child-free for a few hours, while trying not to kill the vibes by voicing irritations about… well just about anything. There’s just soooooo much pressure!
So if, like me, you want to have a little cheese-free fun this Valentine’ Day here are a few alternative ideas to help you feel the love.
Calling all the single ladies (and the smug marrieds) Fancy a night out that’s more heart than flowers? Head to the Nomad Bakery in Caversham for a creative Valentine’s screen printing pop up for singles and couples alike. Squeeze Print Studio will be bringing the know-how, you just need to let rip. You’ll create a set of note cards whatever happens. Numbers are limited, tickets are £25 per person, including materials and Nomad nibbles and drinks. Booking is essential – email@example.com.
Nomad Bakery, Prospect Street, Caversham RG4 8JG nomadbakery.co.uk
YOU’RE HAVNG A LAUGH
It has been scientifically proven that laughter will have you swinging from the chandeliers. Perfect timing for Stuart Goldsmith to drop in at Norden Farm Maidenhead. The Comedian’s Comedian podcast host will perform “the funniest stuff he has ever created”. Laugh until you mascara runs, it’s got to be a great way to spend Valentine’s.
It’s been getting rave reviews, so if you can’t drag yourself up to Stratford-upon-Avon, now’s your chance to catch the RSC’s Twelfth Night starring Adrian Edmonson, Kara Tointon. The play, about mistaken identity and role reversal, will be broadcast live on Valentine’s Day. Ditch the squishy hearts and garage flowers for a cultural comedy.
WHEN LIFE IS SWEET…
Valentine’s Day is a sticky business, but keep each other sweet with a box of macarons. *Groan* I’m sorry (tehe not sorry). In all seriousness, if you have a sweet tooth, why not commit to a sugar coma? The Real Macaron Company is offering a Limited Edition gift boxes full of classic V Day flavours – raspberry & rose; strawberry & pink champagne and orange & passion fruit. And you can get 12 minis for £10. Cheaper than a dozen roses that’s for sure. Sweet! Order by 10 Feb. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07887 870274
Cliveden House is beautiful, romantic and has a history of wild parties, scandal and debauchery. My kinda casual stroll. It was here that Government minister John Profumo and showgirl Christine Keeler got all hot and heavy while attending one of Bill Astor’s infamous parties. If your budget doesn’t stretch to an overnight stay, follow in the footsteps of royalty, writers, actors, rock stars and politicians and explore the stunning sculptured gardens and riverside woodland walks. If you feel the need to strip off, book into the spa.
Cliveden House, Taplow, Maidenhead SL1 8NS, nationaltrust.org.uk
BEER GOGGLES ON
There’s not much focus on the fellas when it comes to Valentine’s Day. A card, perhaps a small gift, but generally it’s all me me me. I’m not complaining. But Oakley Court Windsor has gone the extra mile to pull together afternoon tea with a whiff of testosterone. Beer, pork scratchings, sausage rolls and mustard,scotch egg. Yes it’s 50 shades of beige. But sounds chuffing lush.
AFTER DARK FUN
Don’t bother staring longingly into each other’s eyes. The chances are you’ll be sat so close to the next table, you’ll be practically lap dancing your neighbour every time you get out of your chair. Avoid this awks predicament, head to London and dine at Dans Le Noir in Clerkenwell, a quirky dining experience in the dark. Just make sure you find your way back to the right table or that innocent leg rub could get weird.